NYFA: Overheard convo

So I'm in the elevator where I work on the way down to the lobby, and guess what? It stops on the 2nd floor, the home of fake college/enterprise/whatever New York Film Academy. These two lovely young British girls get on, one of which is gently praising her new, entirely paid for, Manhattan apartment:

Girl 1: Yeah, it's really simple, just a room and a loo. But it's in Chelsea, which is pretty nice.
Girl 2: Oh, yeah, Chelsea is really cute.
Girl 1: ...and there's a Stahbucks right downstairs.
Girl 2: Well that's what matters, roight?

This is the state of young "artists" in New York. Used to be, you moved into a rat-infested raw space in an abandoned neighborhood. Now your parents select your multi-thousand dollar studio based on its proximity to chain stores.

Yuck.

NYFA elevator skills

Okay, so the kids down at the New York Film Academy on the 2nd floor of the building where I work have elevator issues. First off, why ever take an elevator to or from the 2nd floor unless you have lots of stuff or are on crutches? Really, will it kill you walk up or down a flight of stairs and not tie up the elevator? Or will it just impinge on your self-defining sense of entitlement?

Also, it is not necessary to ask the people in the elevator whether it is going up or down every time it stops at your floor. You see there are these little arrows by the door that light up to tell you where the elevator is headed. Isn't that neat? You don't even have to know how to read.

And it's not just the bubble-headed students who apparently don't know how elevators work. Today two "professors" or whatever they call them there got in and were so surprised to see we were headed to the 11th floor.

I know there are no GPA requirements, letter grades or standard academics at this, um, school, but can't they just offer a Remedial Life Skills 101 unit or something as a favor to the rest of us?

New York Film Academy Schwag

I have noticed recently that the kids at the New York Film Academy (whose classy side of the bus ad campaign is pictured above) just love wearing their NYFA t-shirts and bags. Like all the time and everyday at school. When I went to NYU Film School in the late 80s/early 90s, we always thought that the kids who wore the NYU Film threads were douchebags. They were.

University wear has always bothered me anyway. When I see those groups of girls in the airport waiting to board an international flight rocking "MICH U" across the asses of their sweatpants, it makes me cringe. Why would anybody, particularly outside of this country, care which 3rd tier state school you go to? Get a life!

As for the NYFA students, is it not enough that your parents pay $34,000 a year for a no-GPA-requirements, drop in-drop out crap factory, but must you also advertise this fact to the world? I'm glad your parents have money. Really, it will make your life much easier when your aspirations of directing prove to be too much of a hassle. Or maybe mom and dad think you need a six figure cash infusion to become the next Shia LeBouf. Fine, good luck with that. But can you just wear a t-shirt that says something like, "I'm a rich, uneducated asshat who hears Hollywood calling" instead? It would be helpful to those not familiar with your little school/enterprise.

NYFA whoring itself on Broadway

I have an ongoing hate/hate relationship with the New York Film Academy because this school/scam is located on the 2nd floor of the office building in which I currently work. Forget the fact that the school has no admission requirements (other than a high school diploma and an ability to speak English), allows students to drop in and drop out as they see fit, and advertises on the sides of payphones and buses. They have now lowered the bar even further.

Today I saw a woman in a tight NYFA tank top and short shorts rollerblading down the sidewalk on Broadway, handing out NYFA flyers. Really? Flyers? How can any of the students there even pretend they are going to a real school?

Just buy a friggin' video camera and a laptop, for chrissake!

Or just go to that reality TV school instead.

New York Film Academy - WTF?

So the second floor of the building where I'm working is the home of the New York Film Academy. You've seen their ads. You've wondered, what kind of fly-by-night technical college scam is this? Having had the misfortune of having to ride the elevator with its victims for the past four weeks, I think I have an idea.

Full disclosure: I went to NYU Film School, which has always been a bullshit school inside a real university. NYFA is a bullshit school inside an office building. Film school is where you go if you want to waste your higher education smoking cigarettes and traipsing around in weird clothing (I know that's why I did it). When I did it, though, film school was also essentially an expensive film equipment rental facility, so it kind of made sense if you wanted to actually, you know, make movies. But in the age of YouTube, iMovie and the $650 HD camcorder, why does anyone pay for this? These days you can buy better equipment than we used for less than we spent on rentals. Ultimately, I guess NYFA is a place to park your spoiled kid who couldn't get into SVA, Parsons, Pratt, Baruch, Hunter or anywhere else for that matter.

For tearaway rich kids who misspent their high school years getting tattoos and shopping and running away to Europe, it's a logical step in a privileged, wasted life.

It's actually kind of a brilliant business idea. Charge rich parents lots of money to teach their good for nothing kids something that every 14 year old with a computer already knows how to do. It's like rehab but without all that expensive drug intervention staffing.

I think I'm going to start the New York Blogging Academy. Cha-ching!