Who are these bozos who call in on "The Takeaway"?

"Give us your take at my take at your take at thetakeaway.com":

Beep..."I took out a credit card at zero percent interest and after I made the first payment blah blah blah blah blah blah" bliooop.

It's The Takeaway. God this show sucks.

Matt Taibbi's brilliant Tom Friedman takedown

Thanks to Cajun Boy, Gawker's new night editor for pointing out to us Matt Taibbi's brilliant evisceration of all things Tom Friedman. Sample:

"Like The World is Flat, a book borne of Friedman’s stirring experience of seeing IBM sign in the distance while golfing in Bangalore, Hot, Flat and Crowded is a book whose great insights come when Friedman golfs (on global warming allowing him more winter golf days:“I will still take advantage of it—but I no longer think of it as something I got for free”), looks at Burger King signs (upon seeing a “nightmarish neon blur” of KFC, BK and McDonald’s signs in Texas, he realizes: “We’re on a fool’s errand”), and reads bumper stickers (the “Osama Loves your SUV” sticker he read turns into the thesis of his “Fill ‘er up with Dictators” chapter). This is Friedman’s life: He flies around the world, eats pricey lunches with other rich people and draws conclusions about the future of humanity by looking out his hotel window and counting the Applebee’s signs."

Flat N All That

Embracing my liberalism...

Now that we liberals have been vindicated by the election results, I find myself feeling no shame in becoming a caricature of the Chardonnay swilling, Volvo driving, pot smoking, abortion loving big fat liberal.

Today, I ordered a Chai Latte with skim milk.

And it tastes great!

At the Table with Anthony Bourdain: Why ?

I love Anthony Bourdain. Everyone I know loves Anthony Bourdain. From his junkie/chef memoir "Kitchen Confidential" to his magnificent food and travel show "No Reservations" (which has inspired several imitators), he has always come across as the type of guy I'd like to have a drink or ten with.

So why is his new show "At the Table with Anthony Bourdain" so awful?

At 52, Bourdain is hitting his mid-thirties — quitting smoking, having a baby, etc. — and I assume he wants to spend more time with his family. So now he's doing this show where instead of flying to Laos or Dubai every other week he cabs it to a New York restaurant. Fine. The problem is that the new richer, more famous Bourdain seems kind of full of himself, and shows about people bullshitting their way through a meal don't work.

Bourdain has become caught in the same narcissistic muck that director John Favreau wallowed in several years ago with his loathsome watch-the-celebrities-eat show Dinner for Five. You can understand the thinking behind these shows: we all have a good time having dinner and getting drunky with friends, and as the night goes on (and more wine is consumed), everything seems so funny and interesting and hey, wouldn't this make a great TV show?

But a dinner party is not a television show; your dinner party is fun and interesting to you because you are with your friends. Your insidery repartee is great within your group, but when broadcast it takes on the quality of a loud conversation at an adjacent table, at best irrelevant, more likely annoying and offensive.

Which brings us to the first episode of "At the Table", featuring an unpleasant supporting cast of well-heeled, jaded New Yorkers: ex-celeb-club maven/perennial irritant Amy Sacco, Page Six gossipeuse Chris Wilson, New Yorker contributor and charisma black hole Bill Buford, along with the usually tolerable straightish guy from "Queer Eye" Ted Allen, who struggles in this company to be appealing and reasonable but is generally ignored or shot down.

Bourdain opens with probably the most inappropriate convo topic of late '08: is it morally wrong to spend $1800 on dinner for two? Oh no, everyone agrees, if you have the money, just enjoy it. In fact, why even discuss the morality of gluttony? Everyone knows that rich people should never feel guilty about spending gobs of money on whatever frivolous shit catches their fancy. Bill Buford helpfully adds that if you didn't spend the $1800 on dinner it's not like you'd give it to the poor or anything. Okay, next topic! But first, let's pause for the waiter to serve and explain these tiny plates of nitrogen-frozen fois gras with a tarragon foam and truffle shavings.

Jesus, how out of sync with the times can a television program be? This show isn't just alienating to the red state "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" crowd, it's alienating to anyone who doesn't go on speaking tours.

This is television created by and for rich people, and it's an embarrassing and sad departure for our former New York everyman.

Tony, please, please leave the wife and kid and get back on a plane. Or write another book. Or just go away for a while.

UPDATE: you get the feeling from the promo they think the show is kind of crap too...

Enough with the threatening to leave the country!

So Barack Obama is doing better in the national polls today. Of course this doesn't really matter because in this country all that counts is what a handful of indecisive yahoos in flyover states think. But that's another matter.

I would like to put a moratorium on people telling me that if McCain wins they are leaving the country. Of course we heard a lot of this in 2000 and 2004, most notably from Alec Baldwin (although he denies it), but nobody actually left.

In the last month or so, I have heard no less than 6 liberal friends say something along the lines of "If McCain wins, I'm out of here." Way to fight for your rights, liberals! You never, ever hear conservatives say this (of course most of them don't have passports anyway, but still). Making false threats to pick up and leave all your friends for some mythic European country with no problems just reinforces stereotypes about liberals that we are unpatriotic elitists.

When things get bad in the USA, the job of fighting for our freedom becomes even more important. We live in the most powerful country in the world (for now, at least) and what happens here has a major impact on the world. Goddamit it's worth fighting for. Enough with the "I'm leaving"!