Now to offend everyone...

Have you noticed when you hang out with people in their 20s, all of their stories revolve around people with bizarre names?

"Oh my God, Garnett was so funny that night! When Quinn walked in, he and Blaine couldn't believe that Blair was with Lompaul!"

Can't anyone just be named Mike anymore?

UPDATE: And get off of my lawn!

Christina Visca party at Webster Hall: Why so fucking loud?

I know that I am getting older, but seriously, clubs are getting louder and LOUDER. It is not uncommon now to walk into a nightclub with earplugs and still have to leave because the place is just too fucking loud.

What do we get from all of this volume other than audio fatigue and hearing damage?

For me a good DJ uses volume to balance the energy and size of the crowd with the dimensions of the room. This is not rocket science. Most people going to a club aren't looking for a Motorhead concert. They are looking for good, tight bass, non-harsh mids and treble and an overall good listening experience.

What they get instead is an A320 taking off in their ears.

Christina Visca, Tom Mello and others started their Sunday party this Sunday with what seemed like a great idea: David Morales, Little Louis Vega and Tony Humphries playing only 90s house. The 90s was a golden era for these DJs and house music in general. What could go wrong?

When I walked in the party was great. I'm not sure who was playing, but the system was set at a semi-reasonable volume and people were dancing and singing along to some great old hits like "Finally" by Kings of Tomorrow and "Lonely People" and "The French Kiss" by Lil' Louis and the World.

At some point though, the volume more than doubled, the music turned more repetitive/tracky, and I felt like I was trapped in a late 90s Tunnel hell.

Please, everyone, just turn it down!

Unemployment Blues

Fuck, I left my unemployment debit card at the straight trannie bar last night. Don't you hate when that happens?

Connolly's: FAIL

Thanks for nothing Connolly's shit Irish pub in Times Square. I hope you pricks go out of business fast. Thanks for treating my band like shit, not paying us and giving me a hard time when I asked about it.

Fuck you you fucking motherfuckers.

UPDATE from the door person:

"Hi Bryan,

good show last night man. I was doing the door and your draw was 27 as I told two of your band members, your female member and I believe the bassist (guy with ponytail). 19 were on the half price list which is why you didn't get paid (see Lee's email). Thanks and definitely book another show with Lee - I think you made a lot of new fans last night."

I'm still a little chapped about the whole thing.

Taking down "The Takeaway"

Fellow WNYC/NPR addicts know that there is a newer, hipper, more "conversational" morning news program called "The Takeway" and it is here to show you how new, hip and conversational it is.

Every weekday morning on WNYC (at 6 on the FM station and again at 8 and 9 on AM) overwrought alt-rock lead-in music pounds us awake with its John Bonham drums, a come-to-Jesus organ chord and right at the end, a little technical robot noise which we will hear over and over again to demarcate segments, bracket the sound bites and, you know, be cool.

"This is the Takeaway with Adaora Udoji and John Hockenberry and here's our clever theme for the day which brings us to a question that we want You The Listener to answer over the phone and on the website, because this isn't a news program, it's a conversation."

Then we hear Femi Oke (is anyone on WNYC allowed to have a normal name?) not only read the same headlines that we've been hearing all morning, but do so with a cute (and acute) British accent only to get interrupted repeatedly by Huckleberry with lame jokes and non-sequiters. Because this is a new type of show. It's radio 2.0. It's web-savvy. It's crowd sourcing and user generated content and a great big global techno convo.

And I think to myself, "Yay! I get to be part of a conversation! It seems that I never get to have those. And they want me to give them my take at mytake@thetakeaway.com. So totally new and cool and web and awesome!"

Although I applaud WNYC's attempt to put together something so that I don't have to listen to the Morning Edition rerun hour, did it have to be this...thing? This new-media-crazy, consultant-conceived mess of every layer of newthink crap they can throw at the wall?

I know it's not going away, nor do I want it to, but maybe can they just, tone it down a little bit?

That's all.

You're much more funny when you're making money

Since no one is paying attention here, I will say the truths...the mother fucking truths "You're much more funny when you're making money."

Oh, and another thing

Okay, I've admitted my blog sucks now...so I'd like to add a non-sequiter:

How annoying is the Jim and Pam storyline on "The Office" right now? I mean it's been annoying for a while, what with their jilted love mumbo jumbo. But on the last episode we had a conflict involving Pam's parents breaking up because Jim told Pam's dad how he has never once questioned how much he wants to spend his life with Pam and that's what love is and blah blah blah. And Pam's dad realized he didn't really have movie/television love and dumped Pam's mom. And Pam was mad at first but then realized that she had movie/television/bad-pop-music love, and kissed Jim with all of the movie/television artifice this actress could muster.

Fourteen year old girls must have loved it. And Facebook probably lit up with "wall" postings. And since we have all collectively decided, as a world, that we are fourteen year old girls on Facebook, we smiled and sent flower and hug applications written by Ukrainian and Vietnamese identity thieves to our "friends".

Puke.

Blog Silence

Hey, if anyone still reads this blog, my apologies. I guess I just have absolutely nothing to say right now. I've been in a weird paralysis due to the economy, unemployment, general shiftlessness, and anxiety about turning 40.

There have, however, been some excellent $5 and under bottles of wine at Trader Joe's and Warehouse Liquor on Broadway and Astor. I suggest everyone get down there and load up.

Bush's Farewell

I think that Meteor Blades on Daily Kos put it best:

That it was his last speech as President was its only saving grace. A man characterized by a chronic lack of leadership talent throughout his entire life, a man who showed a relentless inability to act until his handlers told him what to do dared speak to us of trust, decisiveness, toughness. We know the truth of that. We saw it on that awful day which Mister Bush conjured up once again in his Thursday night goodbye. If we hadn’t known we were in trouble previously, we learned it watching him with The Pet Goat in his hands, doing nothing, waiting, as always, for someone to rescue him.

Later, dickhead!

Yes We Can Land This Plane in the Water

At the risk (okay assurance) of sounding cliche, the "Miracle on the Hudson" safe landing of US Airways flight 1549 in the river is the perfect metaphor for the peril and possibilities of the coming era. What better event to illustrate how one skilled man (the pilot/the President) can take a potentially catastrophic situation and transform it into an awe-inspiring focal point of wonder.

Thank you Chelsey B. "Sully" Sullenberger III.