By now we have all met Ashley Todd, the enterprising young Republican alleging to be the victim of a political hate crime: Todd claims that a tall, scary black man robbed her after she had used an ATM and upon seeing a McCain bumper sticker on her car (wait, now it's a McCain button on her lapel, because she couldn't explain how he knew which car was hers) carved a B in her cheek. B for Barack, yo. Naturally, Todd refused medical treatment as would anyone who wants a permanent 'B' shaped scar on their face.
Oh, and the B is carved backwards. A mirror image of a B if you will. Like if you were to look in a mirror and carve a letter in your face and were too dumb to realize things appear backwards in a mirror. Also, that black eye looks like makeup.
These conflicting details have moved Todd's story from 120 point red type at the top of the Drudge Report to regular size type among links to stories about how Obama's lead in the polls is causing the financial panic.
Fameball falling fast.
UPDATE: Hey hey! No sooner do I post my bitchy fuck you to Ashley Todd and wonder whether I may have to eat my words do we learn that the whole thing is, in fact, bullshit. Charges pending.
New York City, January 30, 2018
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★★★★ Even through the blinds, to eyes without contact lenses, the world was
newly brightened all around—not inherently bright, with dawn still under
the pa...
6 years ago
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