Breitbart Fail

It looks like my old nemesis Andrew Breitbart is going to fail on his attempt to smear another well-meaning black person, in this case Shirley Sherrod. Breitbart's group, Whites for Getting Scary Black People Fired, or WGSBPF, keeps trying to prove how terrible all of these various black people are through misleading, selectively edited videos.

This time, though, it looks like Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack is backtracking on her ouster and she is becoming a symbol of the victims of hateful Tea Party gotcha operations against respectable black people.

Oh, and we're supposed to believe that these Tea Party types aren't racist? Bullshit.

Tea Party wackos holding a "Woodstock for conservatives"

"There will also be musical entertainment, from acts that have toured the Tea Party circuit, such as Lloyd Marcus. In addition to Palin, other speakers include Joe "The Plumber" Wurzelbacher, former Saturday Night Live actress Victoria Jackson, Andrew Breitbart and others."

I'm sorry, Lloyd Marcus?

Ah, yes, Lloyd Marcus the black Tea Partying singer! Yee haw!

Oh and look, he's also a talented artist.

Andrew Breitbart supporting fucking racists

I kind of suspected that Breitbart was crazy as well as angry, but Salon blows the lid off of his whole despicable charade this morning. Turns out Breitbart's golden boy James O'Keefe is just a little bit (a lot) white supremist-ey! Fuck you James O'Keefe. Fuck you Andrew Breitbart.

James O'Keefe's race problem

One People's Project Report

Daily Kos' O'Keefe Blog Capture

The new permanent freakshow on the right side of your web browser

Has anyone else noticed this ultra-cheap looking ad sidebar that persists on the right side of a large portion of the internet now? Notice how the images don't necessarily have anything to do with what is being advertised. It seems that they just focus group tested high in distracting users from what they are reading. Can I have my old internet back please?

Alamba Politician : "Bible true...every word of it"

HUNTSVILLE, AL - "I believe the Bible is true," Republican gubernatorial candidate Bradley Byrne said here Wednesday. "Every word of it."

http://blog.al.com/breaking/2010/01/bradley_byrne_says_every_word.html

/sigh

Birther scam email

So there's an email going around to birther types and other Republicans claiming that a former U.S. marine and current U.S. District Court judge as ordered Barack Obama to "prove his eligibility" to be U.S. President in court. Ha!

What judge David O. Carter actually said to these nuts is:

"Plaintiffs have encouraged the Court to ignore these mandates of the Constitution; to disregard the limits on its power put in place by the Constitution; and to effectively overthrow a sitting president who was popularly elected by We the People‚ sixty-nine million of the people. Plaintiffs have attacked the judiciary, including every prior court that has dismissed their claim, as unpatriotic and even treasonous for refusing to grant their requests and for adhering to the terms of the Constitution which set forth its jurisdiction. Respecting the constitutional role and jurisdiction of this Court is not unpatriotic. Quite the contrary, this Court considers commitment to that constitutional role to be the ultimate reflection of patriotism. Therefore, for the reasons stated above, Defendants’ Motion to Dismiss is GRANTED."

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/birthers/carter.asp

Al Franken puts the smackdown on conservative truth-twister

It's pretty fun to watch Al Franken use his formidable rhetorical skills and genuine outrage to give these fucking greed mongering right wingers the beatdown they deserve:

New super retarded GOP site cost $1.4 million

Haha that new Republican website where Michael Steele walks onto your computer screen set the GOP back $1.4 million.

via Gawker:

"How much does it cost to host a site for six months that is visited almost exclusively by stoned Wonkette readers who just want to see Steele walk onto their computer again? It costs $1,039,155. The Democratic National Committee, on the other hand, which gets roughly the same amount of traffic as GOP.com on its site, spent $203,000 on hosting during the same period."

GOP.com - Facebook fans

Do take a look at the absurd new GOP website. The first bit of attention the redesign got was due to Michael Steele calling his blog "What Up", prompting widespread ridicule in the blogosphere (it's now called "Change the Game" - whatever).

But take a look at the featured Facebook fans:











Is it me, or do these people look more Myspace serial-killer than hip young conservative Facebook?

More about people who share my name

This post combines two major themes of this lonely blog: people who share one or both of my names and crazy, stupid shit Republicans do.

From Talking Points Memo (reblogged by The Awl), here is an edit of the lowlights of the "Birther" informercial, featuring Bill Keller (not that one). Are we related in some way? Will he be at this year's Keller convention.

The payoff: for only $30, he will send a fax for you to someone.

Fuck you haters

Oh, and by the way, "The One" just called Iran on its nuke program and pronounced it "nuclear". It's really easy. Think "new-clear". You "real Americans" had eight years of "nucular". If you voted for McCain (haven't heard that in a while, right?) it's supposed to taste like a shit taco.

Welcome to the world where leaders lead and things make sense. Go teabag somewhere, dipshits.

Why can't the right do funny?

Here we go again: the right's latest attempt to do a Daily Show style fake news comedy show (anyone remember The 1/2 Hour News Hour?) is called "NewsBusters". It's just so awful, so mean-spirited/borderline racist and homophobic and so unfunny, that's it's tragic even by conservative comedy's low standards.

I did find myself laughing, though, at the over-compensating laugh/clap track that accompanies this series of stink bombs.

"All Pornography is Homosexual Pornography"

If you pay any attention to liberal chit chat, you are now familiar with Michael Schwartz' assertion at the Values Voter Summit that "All pornography is homosexual pornography."

As batshit as it sounds, I've actually been making this argument for some time. If you think about it, it's true:

If you're a guy watching hetero porn, your looking at another dude's wang.
If you're a girl watching hetero porn, your seeing chicks naked.
If you're a guy or girl watching gay male porn, well, you're gay/bi or you're watching gay porn.
If you're a guy or girl watching girl-on-girl porn, you're gay/bi or watching something gay.

Any which way, all pornography is homosexual pornography. Nothing wrong with that.

Gawker vs. Jesus smackdown!

Oh look! Christwire.org has a scathing piece on the depravity and debauchery of Gawker and how it is a threat to something.

via The Awl

Joe Wilson is Your Pre-Existing Condition

Can't these fucktard Republicans just sit and listen to the President for half an hour? No, they cannot. Particularly not Joe Wilson.

http://joewilsonisyourpreexistingcondition.com/

Healthcare Hypocrits

via Slate:

We're witnessing a conversation between various people who are dependent on taxpayer-funded health insurance telling the public why tens of millions of people shouldn't have access to it. Most of the opponents of universal health care don't really think the public provision of health insurance services is immoral, evil, or socialistic—after all, they'd be at risk of bankruptcy without it.

Really? No public option?

Come on, people, it's just an "option". Can we please just fight for our rights for once? We managed to get a Muslim Kenyan elected president, can't we please just have access to doctors and hospitals?

Check out Physicians for a National Health Program for some compelling arguments.

"Green is stupid!"

I just realized what drives Republicans in their inconsistent, incoherent policy positions. Remember when you were in grade school and you really hated this other kid? Hated him in a way that only, say, a 2nd grader can. You hated this kid so much that everything thing that he said, did or liked filled you with rage. This kid liked to wear green. It was sort of his "thing". So you hated green with a passion. "Green is the stupidist color," you'd say. "Only retards wear green. I hate green." And you really believed that, objectively, green is a stupider color than red, yellow, blue, brown, etc. You couldn't understand how anyone could possibly like green because it is so obviously horrible.

Now think Fox News and the "tea baggers" and "birthers" and the like. Universal Health Care? That's stupid! It's socialism! How could anyone support that? Democrats proposed it. Cash for Clunkers? Oh, you mean "stimulus". Only "Obots" like that and they're stupid! Stupid, stupid Obots! The strategic use of soft power as a more effective deterrent to anti-American propaganda and the proliferation of asymmetrical threats? Huh? Oh, Democrats support that? Then that's stupid! STUPID!

Our Kenyan President

If these stupid fucking "birthers" won't shut up about Barack Obama's birth certificate, I say, let's embrace them. I, for one, fully support our Kenyan president and applaud his efforts to promote the interests of Kenya (and Indonesia) above all else.

America is a spoiled, mostly white, evil country that pollutes the world with its ideas. I solidly pledge allegience to the flag of the United States of Kenyamerica(Indonesia).

Screw you, United Healthcare Vision

Although you rarely hear Republicans talk about how superlative the U.S. healthcare system is anymore, like they did a few years ago, there's still this weird idea that just about anything wouldn't be better.

Now that I'm gainfully employed, with benefits, I figured I'd take my healthcare plan for a spin and get some contact lenses. I hadn't had an eye exam in over a year, so I'd have to do that before ordering the lenses.

I called up my old eye doctor's office and asked them if they take United Healthcare. "Sure," they said, "come on in!"

I got the exam and then we went to deal with the billing. They looked me up in the UHC database and I didn't exist. So we called up our friends at United. After a lot of back and forth, the doctor put me on the phone with the representative. She helpfully explained that my doctor was part of United Healthcare, but I was covered by United Healthcare Vision, which used to be something called Spectera, but now it's part of United Healthcare. So if it's part of United Healthcare, I asked, why aren't I covered? "It's just a name change," the representative offered. "Yes, but names mean something," I explained, "that's the reason I came to this provider, because my vision insurer is called United Healthcare." "United Healthcare Vision," she corrected me. Eventually, she insisted that I'd have to pay for everything and file a claim for an out-of-network visit. Which will cost me more money, of course. I told her that I was hopeful that we get a Public Healthcare Option soon, and said goodbye.

I started to think about it. What a brilliant/evil business move on UHC's part. Buy an ailing vision insurer that most providers have dropped, change the name to something resembling your company's, but don't incorporate your own providers, and don't tell anyone. That will lead to confusion for patients, which in our fucked up health insurance system always means profits for the insurer!

Congratulations, you assholes. You got me.

Can I haz Public Option now?