Thursday, April 30, 2009

Thank you, John Cook

This from Gawker today on Joe Biden's "run for your lives from the pig flu" gaffe:

"Biden told Matt Lauer that he has advised his family members not to travel on airplanes, cars, subways, or go to any "confined" spaces, including schools. That sentiment, which is rather at odds with Barack Obama's measured advice last night that everybody wash their hands and cover their mouth when they cough, has provoked a shitstorm. It's almost as though Biden has become such a connoisseur of gaffes that he couldn't resist the opportunity to commit a formally exquisite, potentially panic-inducing one when the opportunity presented itself." [emphasis mine]

Monday, April 27, 2009

"Super High Me" - A good example of a comedian-driven documentary

Doug Benson is this generation's Pot Comedian. Unlike 70s era stoner jokesters like Cheech & Chong though, his main point isn't how crazy and stupid pot makes you, it's how much harmless fun pot provides.

Spoofing Morgan Spurlock's somewhat annoying and dubious documentary "Super Size Me", Benson decides to spend 30 days completely stoned from the moment he wakes up until he goes to sleep. Since he is already a total stoner, he decides to abstain for 30 days, take a bunch of medical and mental tests and then spark it up for the following month, reprising the same tests, on weed.

The results are (not) surprisingly ho-hum. He does a little better on the SAT, his sperm count actually rises significantly, he puts on a bit of weight and his psychic skills vastly improve, for what it's worth.

Along the way he documents the fast-growing medical mariujana outlet scene in Los Angeles (or "Los Ganjales" as he calls it) and catches some interesting protests of pointless Bush-era D.E.A. busts of these legal establishments. We also get a good helping of his very funny stand up comedy and an all around good time with a good-natured pothead with a message.

It's interesting that this was produced around the same time as Jamie Kennedy's whiny downer "Heckler". Both are self-focused and self-indulgent, but in Benson's movie we are invited to the party/protest, whereas Kennedy impotently seeks to rally his celebrity friends against the rising power of audiences, a.k.a. us.

I saw "Super High Me" last night on the G4 gamer-nerd cable channel, in between "Half Baked" and some documentary on the pros and cons of the legal psychedelic Satvia. This is the first channel I have heard of that leans toward a pro-drug message.

Just say...something!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Jamie Kennedy's "Heckler"

I just caught this documentary of sorts on Showtime OnDemand. The movie follows Kennedy ("Malibu's Most Wanted" and "Son of the Mask") around as he confronts comedy club hecklers, film critics and creepy blogger types about why they hate him so much.

I like Jamie Kennedy. I think that Malibu's Most Wanted was one of the best throw away comedies of this decade (along with "Soul Plane"). What bugs me about "Heckler" is his clueless perspective on contemporary media culture. Essentially Kennedy and the wide swath of famous and semi-famous people he interviews want it both ways. They want to throw themselves in the spotlight, get handsomely paid and not be subject to any criticism or scrutiny other than that which is "constructive" (whatever that means).

Kennedy compares the internet to "the bathroom wall" and anonymous bloggers (hello!1!!) are described as the cliche 38 year old virgin in his mom's basement. It always amuses me how much celebrities hate the internet. Things must have been much nicer for them when they could just put out whatever crap they wanted and they only feedback they had to endure was from the Newspaper Establishment. The celebrities in the movie seem to feel truly betrayed by the existence of blogs and independent websites. They seem to be offended that no one asked them before putting up this whole internet thing, and there is an undercurrent throughout that something should be done about all of this.

It's interesting that modern comedians, people whose livelihoods are largely dependent on the free speech triumphs of people like Lenny Bruce are so angry and suspicious of everyone else enjoying those same rights.

So Jamie Kennedy, you seem like a nice guy, we actually have the same birthday, and you definitely are funny, but, like fuck you.

Friday, April 24, 2009

The Awl

Looks like a bunch of Gawker alumni/apostates have started their own (pretty interesting) blog, The Awl. Who is it - Alex Balk, Choire Sischa (sp?), maybe even Jewish swimsuit superhero Emily Gould?

Whatever. I like their blog. Hate the formatting. Can you guys just like change the font or something. It looks even worse than this blog.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Why aren't Science people funny?

I like science as much as the next guy, but it seems like so many of the science oriented radio or TV shows are simply unbearable because the host tries - and fails - to be funny. Examples of this are WNYC's (cancelled?) "Radio Lab", and the worst offender: Alton Brown's Food Network disaster "Good Eats".

The thinking is that most people think that science is boring so you have to entertain people while you teach. The problem is that for some reason science people aren't funny. Instead, they are "wacky". No one thinks wacky is funny except for 5 year olds and, well, science nerds.

Please science show hosts, you're not funny, so give it up.


Femi Oke (sp.) on my favorite show, "The Takeaway" on WNYC just used "orientated". I know that the English invented English and all, but it just sounds retarded. Please use the far more elegant "oriented".

That is all.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Baby steps toward banning smoking in New York homes

Last week the do-gooders/fascist dictators at the New York City Department of Health announced that 57 percent of non-smokers have traces of nicotine in their blood. THIS IS A WHOLE 12% HIGHER THAN THE NATIONAL AVERAGE!!!!!

How could this be they asked? They already banned smoking everywhere except for...the home. So along with their hypochondria baiting press release, they urged us to keep a smoke-free home, signaling a certain type of apartment-dwelling New Yorker to start getting very intolerant of their neighbors who smoke.

Never mind that we all walk down some of the most densely populated streets in the U.S. on a daily basis. Never mind that people smoke outside more now because they aren't allowed to smoke inside. No, no, it must be that there is a remaining freedom that can be taken away from smokers.

Prepare yourself for a future where your bitchy neighbor can call the cops on you for smoking a fucking cigarette.

Can they just accept that some people do bad things to themselves sometimes and move on?

Friday, April 10, 2009

Crazy cult leader creates "Potato Day"

Oh hello, Andrew Breitbart. Remember me? We went to that rich, preppy high school together and you came and saw my band once and you turned into a crazy internet neocon and I said some nasty things about you and you had all of your commenter minions threaten me on this blog. I kind of thought we were done with one another after our little dustup in February, but you keep showing up on my TV screen.

First I caught you on Real Time with Bill Maher where you performed the thankless service of defending George W. Bush's legacy. The national near-consensus that Dubya was the Worst President in U.S. History could not dissuade you. I have to say I sort of admire your perserverance in ideological pursuits, unburdened as it is by facts or truth or common sense.

This week, Jon Stewart took notice of you and your (surely entirely true) televised complaint that your son's liberal pussy Obamatard school no longer recognizes St. Patrick's Day, but instead refers to it as "Potato Day". Haha that's funny because that would be like liberals deciding to rename Cinco de Mayo to Sleeping Dude Under a Sombrero Day.

Andrew, you dissemble, you demagogue, you divert. You've chosen to use your apparently vast inherited wealth to create a cult of wingnut internet wackos. You're not wasting your life. Even worse, you are using it to fuck up the world as much as your trust fund will allow.

We're still waiting for your evidence on the whole "Potato Day" thing. I've searched the internet high and low and all I can find is people commenting on your TV appearance. Then the comments turn into rants about how stupid "Potato Day" is. God you're good.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Nite Klub

For some reason I have the Specials' "Nite Klub" going through my head over and over. Maybe it's the following lyric:

"Hey hey I don't work,
'cause I don't have to,
I don't have to work,
There's no, no work to do."

Monday, April 6, 2009

Yup the down Stairmaster

There was a recent NY Times article about how the recession (have your heard about it?) has hit us well-educated people in New York especially hard. It reminded me of that legendary and much-maligned Village Voice cover from the early nineties, "Yup the Down Stairmaster". It turns out that well-educated people are suffering from this recession, like, a lot!

I would know (but I still get that $430 a week, yo, for a while).

Can they just reopen Save the Robots again, please? See you at 5am with the sawdust on the floor.

Friday, April 3, 2009

"The Takeaway" music

Can they please change the fucking music on "The Takeaway"? Bump bum bump bum bump bum bump bum bump bum bump...bloiip!

It's not hip. It's not cool. You didn't go to South by Southwest this year. Even if you did, you were too old to enjoy it.

Get over yourselves!

That's my take.